Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I look better un-naked...
sarcasm needs its own font
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
