I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
