dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
