We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
