The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
