I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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