Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
