no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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