Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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