i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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