My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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