i just wanna soil my oats bro
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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