There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
