I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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