The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
