I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Say something about gay babies.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
