Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize