just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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