i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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