Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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