I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
