I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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