remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
