Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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