how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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