...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
