the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
