The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
love makes seman taste better
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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