Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
