Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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