He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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