i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
