I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
