why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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