Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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