Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
