guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Never underestimate the power of titties
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
