She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
