I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
