Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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