Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
