he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
