what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
