I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
