sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
