i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
