i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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