and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
