Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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