I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
