Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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