She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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