Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
