the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
