Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize