wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
