The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
