I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Randomize
