im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
