when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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